"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Yesterday was a rough day. It started off by finding out that an elderly patient in the Cholera ward had died earlier that morning. Not long after I got to the clinic, I had to explain to two younger women that their mom was taking her last breaths, and then hold and comfort them as they grieved over her death. That afternoon, after working on a little girl about 3 years old for over an hour, we finally had to call it and tearfully explain to the family what had happened. When she first came, she was already severely dehydrated and no one could find a vein on her to start pumping fluid into her body. She had been able to drink some, so we decided to keep trying to get her to drink, and then look for a vein a little later. Her dad took her to the bathroom, and after she emptied out, she just stopped breathing. He rushed her back out to us and we put in two IV's into both of her tibias and started squeezing in fluids as fast as we could. We got a bag and started trying to help her breath, but she vomited and then aspirated fluid into her lungs and we could not effectively suction enough out...even after 4 doses of epinephrine, constant bagging and attempting to suction out fluid, her stats kept dropping and we finally just had to let her go.

The rest of the day and night was kind of a blur, just trying to focus on taking care of the other patients and not dwell on what had happened. As I sat eating dinner that night with the rest of the missionaries and the team who is here, I watched as the little Bundy kids laughed, played and sat content in their parent's arms. I was hit hard with the reality of how precious life is, how fleetingly short and unpredictable. I was reminded that only the Lord knows the number of our days, and only He can determine how long we have here on this earth. At first with that renewed realization, I was hit with a sense of fear and helplessness. That truth had become so blatantly real to me yesterday, and I had literally come face to face with that reality. I realized that despite my fleshly tendency to feel fearful and hopeless in those situations, the one thing that calms the fear of the unknown, of death, of pain, of heartache, is a relationship with the one who created all things, who gives and takes away, who sustains, who is sovereign, who was and is and is to come. I was so thankful that I have that kind of a relationship, that I can come to my Father with the burdens of the day, knowing that He will carry them for me. After all the things I have witnessed here, all the suffering, pain, and hardships of this life, without the hope of that truth in my life, all that would be left is fear, uncertainty, grief, and hopelessness. It is His love, His promises, His grace, His goodness, His peace and joy that comes from His Holy Spirit that gives us as Christians the strength to endure the things of this world. And that and that alone is what we have to offer these people, the families of those who have died or who are sick and suffering. Please pray for us, that we can accurately paint them a picture of the beauty that is Jesus Christ, of the hope and love and peace that He offers through a relationship with Him. Pray for a refueling of the Holy Spirit for all of us working there, both missionaries and Haitian staff, that through these experiences our faith would also be strengthened and radically transformed.

Psalm 30:5
"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

Psalm 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 46:1-2
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."

Psalm 71:20-21
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again."

2 Corinthians 1:3-5
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."

Revelation 21:4
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."